When I was doing the research on van life, it seemed that all these people had adventurous lifestyles that allowed them to make their You Tube videos on the side of a mountain, or even sleeping in the wild of Walmart parking lots. They all seem to be traveling yoga instructors, or professional bloggers, vloggers and influencers. They even have interesting meals to make, that you would never imagine could be made in a van. Just Rowan on You Tube actually BAKES, like muffins and pastries and stuff!

Not being much of a cook to begin with, I knew that I wasn’t going to be baking, or doing much more than boiling water. Still, I watched her videos with amazement and more than a little jealousy as she bit into her still hot, fresh strawberry muffin. I was still sitting in my apartment, just doing the research and I knew that my life wasn’t going to be as exciting as theirs. Yet faced with ever increasing rent prices and the inability to save enough for a decent down payment with only one income, I knew that moving into my vehicle was my best option.

I could have rented a room in someone’s house. I could have. But I’m 44 years old and have lived alone (or with a significant other) since 1999. I just couldn’t see myself living the college lifestyle of sharing a domicile with a stranger. I could have found a studio apartment that was affordable on my own, but I would be living in a tiny box and giving all my paycheck to a landlord still. I could have moved back home with my mother, and I sort of did, but circumstances in the house that I won’t go into here deem living in a car more comfortable and (believe it or not) the better option for me. You still need a physical address for some things and I have legally restored my mailing address to my very first home address.

A Hyundai Accent hatchback makes for a good little micro-RV! I tore the seats out and built a platform to sleep on. I purchased a 4” thick memory foam mattress and custom cut everything to fit perfectly. I moved in, officially, on June 28^th though was still on a lease until July 31^st. I bought a Euhomy fridge, a Jackery power station and a Thetford camping toilet. I joined the gym that is in the building of my corporate job so I could take showers in the morning. It’s a much more expensive fee than other gyms, but being in the same building as my job it was too convenient to go anywhere else (besides, I don’t have to pay rent anymore!). I grew up in a camping household, and I was ready to turn my whole life into a camping trip!

It was beautiful and comfortable and I loved every minute of it, until October 10^th, when a little old man made a left at a light that I was going straight through. My little Betty, my home, was totaled. Everyone was okay, no one was hurt, but I was in shock. Not only had I never been in an accident like that before, everything I needed to live was inside! I could not be idle and had to act quickly. My car could NOT sit in a junkyard overnight! That was my bed! I had it towed to my mother’s house and less than a week later I was able to put a down payment on a new van! Now, I want to impress upon you that NEVER in my life was I ever able to walk into a place and write a $1,500 personal check and not worry about how I was going to cover it! The accident could have happened while I was still apartment dwelling, and I hate to think about where I would be right now if I had been renting still. The rental car was $80 a day and I would need to be reimbursed after the fact, so I still consider that out of pocket to start. I would not have had that much saved up for a down payment if I had still been renting so I wouldn’t have been able to purchase a new vehicle that quickly. All in all, it was a blessing because no one was hurt and I was able to upgrade to a van. I was able to take the wooden platform I built out of the hatchback and install it into Odessa, my new van, and now I have a ton more room! I can even almost stand up!

Here’s where the Imposter Syndrome creeps in. My day looks a lot like it did before, not many adventures to be had. I wake up and make my coffee. I go to the gym and take a shower (with self-conscious thoughts of people judging me as I don’t work out – super skinny anyway). I go to the office and work, and at the end of the day, I mostly just drive to my mother’s house (half hour in the morning and about 45 minutes for the commute back). I do go inside because I took care of my mom’s bird for years (long story) and he’s back there now so I make sure he’s comfortable, and has food and water. I’ll use her toilet if I need to and some nights, I pull the extension cord out of the window to charge the Jackery or plug in my laptop. Most of my time is spent in my van, this is my home. I live here.

I don’t have a glamorous on-the-road lifestyle, and while there have been nights that I have slept ‘out in the wild’ I have been spending most of my nights in my mother’s driveway. Some van lifer I am, huh? But this is where I need to boost myself up. I AM living in a van. I may not travel the country side and worry about where I’m going to charge my Jackery, but that’s fortunate for me! Not many people have a safe and steady place to park at night and I need to count my blessings that I do. I still “cook” and use the facilities here in the van. The nights are getting colder and I am still needing to bundle up and sleep in a zero-degree sleeping bag. I still have to figure out what to do with my free time (hence my new blog page).

Times are changing and we are all feeling it. I may not be living what we have thought of as a traditional van life, but by golly I’m living MY van life! I don’t have to have dreads, or a sleeve tattoo. I don’t need to post videos of my life on You Tube to be a van lifer; my videos would be very boring and monotonous to most people anyway. So, this is a message to me and to anyone else who needs to hear it. Do YOU! As long as no one is getting hurt, you do it your way. Don’t let social media or the news tell you how it’s done. Find your own way and count your blessings when you see them.